My dear friend,
You know how you keep thinking about the same thing again and again? It makes you feel restless.
You know how your friend keeps repeating the same story over and over? And you’re so tired of hearing it! You wish she’d just get over it and move on.
- Repetition can be a call for attention, or an appeal for help, or a plea for understanding. Maybe a plea for her own understanding.
- Did she just have an upsetting experience? Chances are that telling you the story will relieve the upsetting feelings.
- Or could it be Woundology? (Anatomy of the Spirit, by Caroline Myss) A story that your friend has made a part of her defining identity and may even use to manipulate people into getting her needs met. (“As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.”)
But today, we’re talking about what you can do for yourself, because you know you can’t wave a crystal wand and magically change anyone else.
The rough stuff I experienced during the pandemic
Recently, my work life changed and now I have a little more time on my hands.
The rough stuff I had experienced during the pandemic — taking care of my mom while she died, breaking up with my long-time BF, moving lock, stock and barrel — seemed to suddenly crash into my well-being like an angry bull in a china cabinet.
The emotions I had been too busy for, dammed up and spilled over. Floodwaters! Oops.
I needed a vacation. I wanted to go on a road trip, somewhere. I love road trips! I just wanted to go have some fun because I had no fun in the last year and more. The person who came to mind for an adventure buddy was my ex-BF. Well, you know that’s not gonna work out well.
It took a bit of deep thinking to realize I was mad at him for taking away my fun! We had fun together <sniffle>. We had good experiences in new places together. And now we don’t. (BTW, he’s a good man. We just weren’t a good fit anymore. We’re still friends.)
Once I realized the ‘why’ of my anger, it dissipated and drifted away. Now I can remember the good trips without the heavy baggage dragging me down like a gunnysack full of rocks.
I told this story to two of my close friends and then I was on my way to not overthinking the breakup. <rolling eyes, snort>
Really :). Once I figured out what was really bothering me, it was like I set down a heavy suitcase (the ones without rollers that strain all the muscles in your back and arm).
I looked back at it a few times, letting the process ruminate in the back of my mind, curiously connecting it with other issues. It was rather enlightening.
When we hear or read each other’s stories, we bear witness in a way that can heal and help us move on.
The key here is ‘to move on’ because in recounting a negative story again and again, ad nauseum, you give it power and presence. You know what I mean, because you get all worked up over it.
Making up excuses about why you did it or why it happened just adds power.
If I keep being mad about my BF not being my adventure buddy anymore, I’ll be stuck with that emotional porcupine for a long time. (Search for some pics about cats and dogs who had trouble with porcupines. See what I mean?)
The moment you understand your part in the story is the moment to set it aside and let it be.
You really don’t need to understand the other person’s motivations or feelings or why they did what they did.
Just understand your own feelings — without excuses! — then symbolically set that memory aside and let it be, as often as you need to. You don’t have to forget it or let it go. Just let it be.
The emotions fueling memories can fall apart from inattention while sitting on the shelf. It was an experience, not a life sentence.
That’s how you’ll achieve freedom.
5 Easy ways to stop overthinking
Change your mind. Literally, change your mind.
- Wave your hand like you’re clearing the air, exclaiming, “New thought! New thought!”
- Turn around and look at something different, really see it.
- Call up a pleasant memory and bask in it.
- Sing a favorite song. Recite a poem. “Twinkle, twinkle little star…”
- Look around and name all the things you see.
That’s easy, right? Doing anything other than thinking about what you’re overthinking will help you change your mind and stop overthinking.
Now, ask yourself, How can this get better? And let the Universe and your subconscious mind figure out how to make it better.
You’re an adventurous explorer discovering your unique mystic sage
You’ve been wondering how you can express yourself more authentically, how to be the person you really are.
It’s likely that you’ve been searching for your true identity for most of your life, bouncing here and there like a rubber ball.
You’ve been buried beneath obligations and expectations.
The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. — C. G. Jung
If you’ve been restless, feeling the need for an exciting, challenging vision quest, please follow your intuition to check out my revamped workshops and programs designed to help you manifest more peace, love, and inspiration in your life.
~ Mystic Life Coach helping you harmonize mind-body-spirit so you can live a life of peaceful alignment – and everything that means for you.
“As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.”